You might not want to read this guest post...

Today we at the blogging girl world have the distinct/extinct/Istink pleasure/play? sure!/plessure/pressure of welcoming @somuchgross to guest post/guessed posed! Without further adieu/ado/I do...

I am not not known for being gross. Quite a few of my friends and family think they are cleaner, nicer, more refined, funnier, and smarter than I am. But mostly cleaner. SO, I am qualified to share this information today.

5 pizza slices of advice from the grossest one:


1. Hold in your toots (so you don't have to wear this:)

2. Fake shower (I learned this from this guy.) Here is an excerpt from his post about living with roommates:

In Thai culture it is very important to take at least two showers a day – usually three if it’s been particularly hot and humid that day.  I don’t really like taking showers.  I understand they are important for general cleanliness and personal hygiene but I find they take much more time and energy than not showering…

However, to appease my roommate’s cultural expectations I’ve been taking more showers.  When I can I like to try and take two showers a day.  Although, on those days when I really don’t feel like taking a shower I’ve been taking fake showers.  I spray the shower water all over the bathroom area and wet my hair a little if he’s in the room.  I even hit a new low last week when I started wetting my towel to avoid any queries as to why my towel was always dry after my “showers.”

Some of you may be saying, “Doesn’t it take just as long to fake a shower as it does to take a real shower?”  The answer to that question is a simple “no.”  Yes, it’s deception but it is still much easier to take a fake shower than a real shower.  I’m working on changing my ways but please be patient with me.  It’s a gradual process – one shower at a time.

Fake showering > real showering

3. Use stuff like nasal and ear wax washes.

4. Try not to wear clothes from your estinky pile. (Nacho, anyone?)

5. Love the fact that someone who looks like this:

Can also look like this:

 And make this variation of a cake pop...

Now that all your appetites are shot, I shall kindly leave.

Thanks for letting me post, Gabriella.

FREE swag my running heart

I ran a half marathon this past weekend and one of the best parts was all the free stuff! The expo is amazing because of all the swag you can get as well before the race... and the food you can get after the race is really wonderful too! I actually ended up not getting a lot of free swag at the expo (I was thinking costume changes, masks, stilts...) because I parked at McDonalds with limited parking and could only stay for an hour but I did go big and go home with the post-race swag and then I wrote a run-on* sentence.

All in all I got 7 bags of Bare Naked granola, 2 Cytomax bottles (the citrus was suprisingly good! Propel now has a contender.), 5 GU packets, 4 snicker marathon bars, 4 bananas, 2 oranges, and 1 luna bar. (Plus more like chapstick, a wine sample, and fortune cookies...)

Do you want to know the best part? I got the GU packets when I was at mile 9. I kept grabbing them and ran the rest of the race with my free stuff. Look below and laugh to yourself.

For all you haters out there (Amanda, I am looking at you), I saved countless pennies for 3 1/2 years for this one race and think that getting some free food and goodies is totally coo without the l.

*See what I did there?

Do you like free things? Do you send other people yourself free things?