CPR do do do do do do do

You know that song, "Shark Attack do do do do do do?" Well, now I am going to be sort of prepared in case that happens to someone near me. Would you like to know why? You do! Great.

Today I got certified with CPR/AED and First Aid.

BUT it was online. And it took like 3 seconds.

Isn't that bad?

I have been certified a bunch of times because I have been a camp counselor, nanny, and teacher. But never online. For those of you who do not know (me), I did not receive my contract teaching 1st Grade this past year. We had a decrease in student enrollment and I did not get a contract. BUT I did receive a job at Mission Springs working as a naturalist with Outdoor Education! Woo! Here are some of the requirements of being a naturalist:

     Don't shave. (I've got this covered...)
     Become a freegan. (or vegan if you want.)
     Look like you just popped out of an REI photo shoot.
     Bike everywhere.
     You only can use these to wipe.

After reading the requirements I can report that I am super pumped about this new job!

Back to my CPR story. I think it's weird I got certified online. While I was reading the information during the course, I noticed buttload of errors. Being a grammar fanatic and having OCD, I was aghast. So I took a screen shot of one of them. (Questions one should ask an injured person: "When did the patient last ate") Really?

You can't really see. I should have zoomed in...

Throughout the course I found a misuse of commas, (I don't always use them correctly but it is a pretty comman error in regards to punctuation. Grammar pun. Sorry.) misspelled words, typos, and information that was not presented in the most effective way possible. It was bad.

I am going to email them and tell them they have quite a few errors and people should not be able to become certified with them. I mean, I know it important to be gracious with typos because we all make mistakes but I think a heath care organization should present information in a clear and effective way. (Not to mention the fact that if you get a 70% on the quiz you can get your certification. AND they have no way of knowing it was you taking the quiz and not your mom.)

Would you let someone to save you if they had only read online about administering chest thrusts and placing someone in the recovery position? Or if their mom had taken the quiz for them? OR what if you don't have any arms and you become certified?

In other news, we went rafting this past weekend with friends. The rapids had names like Texas Chainsaw Massacre Rip Your Head Off...

{Piercing screams}

He lived...

In other news, here is a DMV situation my friend's roommate observed:

     DMV Employee: (calling the next customer) Shady Nasty?

     DMV Customer: OH NO YOU DI'N'T! It's Sha DYnasty!

(And I am on Google Plus One or whatever now. My sister also got me on Google Voice and enjoy anonymously texting friends with new number.)

Do you have Google Plus One or Google Voice? How much do you love/hate them? Also, any good CPR stories?

Why you should eat placenta

(Rick and Ray were bugging me about eating placenta after writing this post so I decided to write a tinsy explanation.)

About a year ago my sister and I ate the placenta of her daughter. She had been wanting to try it ever since she was pregnant and she even joked about making placenta lasagna. Yes.

After their home birth, her midwife encapsulated the placenta and we drank that puppy down! Don't worry- I couldn't taste it. It was just like taking vitamin C. Except it was in the womb for 9 months and was in a white bowl after my niece was born.

You should eat it because...

- It is nutritious.

- Some cultures eat it! (My sister, husbie, and babyski and babski in the oven are all moving to Zimbabwe so it is just the start of eating weird things...)

-You can be pla centa of attention when you tell people about the day you ate it!

-Maybe it can help with post partum depression. Or if you are the aunt it can probably help in some way too.

That's all. Who wants to try it?!?! Maybe if/when I have kids I can serve you up some lasagna if you come over. You won't even know it's in there...