The Art of Being Annoying

My Dad is amazing. He has taught me so many things and is a great Dad. However, one of the best things he has taught me is how to be annoying. I shall share a short anecdote to illustrate how he purposely annoys his children.

He is skilled in many areas, but I would not say music is one of them. He probably has the musical talent equivalent of a platypus. That being said, he went through a phase where he would wake us up on Saturday mornings violently strumming the strings of a guitar singing, "IT'S WAKE UP TIIIME WAKE UP TIIIME WAKE UP TIIIME." Oh, how we loathed Saturday mornings.

I have learned a few valuable principles through the years and I shall share some with you.

1. Repetition
This is probably the most important one. If you do something more than 4 times, you can make it to be super annoying. This includes words, touch, body movements, you name it! Whenever our family goes Christmas tree hunting I like to find a long piece of grass, sneak up behind an unsuspecting victim, and quickly put it is in an open ear. The victim quickly brushes away a bug... until they find out it me and I have to speed away before I get attacked.
This also happens too...
2. Sound
I can hiss air through my teeth so it comes out to be a sound dogs can hear... and some people too. My friends and family hate it and always ask me to desist. I sometimes acquiesce, only after I have done it enough times. If you can make any weird (low, high, loud...) sound and keep doing it, you have become annoying. Good job!

You know those REALLY crinkly Sun Chips bags? Yeah...
3. Touch
My Dad has really perfected this art. Another way he would wake us up was to gently dangle a wet string on our faces to wake us up. We would wildly bat at whatever was touching our faces but my Dad would somehow always dart away. It's frustrating even thinking about it.

Now you are equipped to be annoying! Woo!

PS As I am working on this post my sister comes up behind me and slurps up her drippy peach in. my. ear.

Are you annoying? What annoying things do people do to you?


  1. Don't show weakness. Weakness is an instant way for someone to capitalize. Forever.

    But you do have to be creative, or else it goes from cute annoying to stupid annoying. One of my favorites is when my boss doesn't answer me. Her name is Elizabeth, which you may know has about 1000 different derived nicknames. I like to see how many I can get through before she responds. Ex:



    Bottom line: try to be original.

  2. Can your family adopt me? ha

  3. I intentionaly mess things up when writing to grammer freaks.

    I listen to long stories with a completely stoic poker face. When the story's done, I nod my head once and walk away. People don't know how to handle that.

  4. Ricky, I can't believe you spelled it "grammer freaks" ... it's supposed to be "grammar freeks"


so... tell me whacha think, whacha really really think!